Resigned

re·sign (r-zn)
v. re·signed, re·sign·ing, re·signs
v.tr.
1. To submit (oneself) passively; accept as inevitable
2. To give up (a position, for example), especially by formal notification.
3. To relinquish (a privilege, right, or claim). See Synonyms at relinquish.

For all intents and purposes we're dealing with definiton numero uno.  I love the "to submit" part of the definition, but unlike the definition mine is active and not passive.  I have had to resign myself to the very known fact that I am not in control.  God is.  I have had to submit to His authority and sovereignty.
 
Friday of last week was one miserable day for me.  Yet another door closed that I had so anticipated being open.  Certain areas of concern just were not changing.  Things, simply, were not going my way....and that's really it in a nutshell.  My way was being a huge stumbling block for me.  It was leading to disobedience and ungratefulness and a failure to believe Romans 8:28.
 
But God only lets us wallow in our own mess for so long.  Through a couple of daily devotions/blogs I follow He has spoken volumes to me.  He's reminded me of His goodness and faithfulness.  He's reminded me of His blessings.  He's reminded me that our home is ours and so are our vehicles; that although we shop on a budget and have to clip coupons, there is a bounty of food in this house and on our table; while doing laundry He showed me that my children have all they need plus a surplus in the way of clothes; our bills are always paid; we have unity and harmony and love among the four of us; we've been given an awesome church family to minister to; we can both be in school full-time and I am almost finished with this leg; even though this job search has been stressful, I am in a position to be choosy; I've been given the opportunity to be available to my family whenver they need me; while one relationship has withered before it even began to grow, other friends have entered our lives and we get to spend the day with them in Graceville Saturday; He loved me enough to die for me; He desires a relationship with me; this life is only temporary; and the list could go on and on.
 
Resigned is such an emotional word for me this week and one that just keeps repeating itself to me.  It speaks of submission and trust and even hope.  It will be an active word.  The definition itself is one that I will have to repeat often.  Resigned is an epiphany for me.
 
Since I really feel like I'm just muttering here, I urge you to read Psalm 37 and check out Revive our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Proverbs 31 Ministries.  They say it far better than me.